Personal Questionaire

1. Ever cheated on someone?
Yes
2. How old were you when you lost your virginity? Or if you are a virgin, what age do you think you’ll lose it at?:
13, I was raped about a month or so before and didn't care after that point I wish I had waited.
3. Are you “in love” with somebody?
Yes
5. Have you ever done anything sexual on your parents bed?:
No, I would never eeek to gross and disrespectful
6. Ever been “the other person” in an affair?:
Yes
7. How many people do you have a crush on right now?:
Only celebrities 
9. Ever had a one night stand?:
Yes
10. Ever gotten drunk and couldn’t remember the night?:
Yes and No, I forgot a few pieces. Though when I did a few things I always told people the next day sometimes I didn't remember what happened
11. Ever been sexually harassed and/or assaulted?:
Yes, more times then I would actually want to admit
12. Ever had a crush on your neighbor?:
No
13. Ever snuck out of the house?:
Yes, around when I was 17
14. How many illegal drugs have you tried?
Weed and never again ended up in the ER due to allergic reactions to THC.
15. Do you do any drug regularly?:
No, unless you consider smoking cigarettes a drug.
16. If you’re underage, do you still drink and/or smoke cigarettes?:
Not underage but I did back then.
18. Ever attempted suicide?:
Yes, a few times and so glad I'm still here
19. Ever been to therapy? What for?:
Yes, for being robbed at gun point at a store I worked at.
20. Have you ever been so upset that you stopped eating?:
Yes a few times 
21. Are you clinically depressed? Are you taking anything for it?:
I have panic attacks and OCD, don't take anything for it
23. How old were you when you first got kissed?:
13, after a fair
24. Is there any “friend” of yours that you secretly hate but talk to anyway?:
Not that I can think of
25. Ever been in a relationship and wanted to end it, but stuck with it for some reason?:
Yes, but did end up ending it
26. Ever sent naked pictures to someone?:
Yes
27. What about sent them to someone you met over the internet?:
No
28. Ever been abused?:
Yes
29. Did you ever run away? How long were you gone for and what happened?:
No
30. Do you ever lie to yourself about things so much that you believe it?:
Yes
31. Have you ever liked someone when you were dating someone else?:
Yes
32. Ever dated a friend’s ex?:
Yes
33. Ever done something with your friend’s significant other?:
No
34. Did anyone ever confide in you about being gay/lesbian?:
Yes, in high school
36. Do you know of someone who has done a horrible crime but never got caught?
Yes
37. Ever stole a large sum of money?:
Maybe
38. Ever purposely threw up?:
Yes, to get out of work
39. Ever had an eating disorder? What happened?:
No
40. Did you or anyone you know have an abortion?:
Never would and I know a few people
41. Were you or any of your siblings in an accident?:
Car accident yes
42. Ever found porn on your parents’ computer?:
LOL yes
43. Do you look at porn?:
All the time
44. How many people have seen you naked in person?:
Only a few, besides changing in front of friends
45. What about through pictures?:
Yes
46. Ever had cyber/phone sex?
LOL, yes when I was in a "long distance relationship
47. Ever got a piercing behind your parents’ back?:
Yes, my sister took me to get my ears pierced I wish I had waited because I used fake gold and they got highly infected. I wish I waited for me and my mom to go. I remember when she finally did that was such a big day for me.
48. Ever sold or bought an illegal substance?:
Yes, a VERY long time ago
49. What’s your #1 biggest fear?:
My child getting hurt or dieing 
50. Have you ever faced that fear? What happened?:
No, and hope I never do

Bitch about

From reading my last blog maybe I should change the name of my blog to Bitch about since it seems what I really need to write about my vents and what I need to bitch about for the day.


But on a serious note I'm think I should make a goal. Facebook status once a day http://www.facebook.com/pages/Find-you-Be-you-Be-happy-with-that/284207031670787

And Blog here once a week. I can be your regular weekly realty tv series that comes on once a week. And from time to time have a special episode in between. LOL

I really need to not stray from this and keep writing so I get to keep the name of my blog. I need to be happy with myself. In truth I am but have the small vents that stay locked away that become this bomb inside me that needs to get out so I'm not bitchy.

Been a while

So it has been a while since I last wrote and I'm kicking myself in the ass for it. I feel back at the place when I first started writing back in April. The Fuck it place, where I don't care about anything. Stuck in a rut, where unhappy depressed and wanting a change. Writing for awhile started to help then I stopped felt great for a while then now just wanting to give up and start over.

I wish to move to have a new start I hate this place and I hate mylife to a point. I'm tired of my husband working so much I'm at home everyday by myself with no one to turn to. I have basically no friends and sometimes I think it is me. Most of the time I think that this city I live in is filled with Bitches and dogtag chasers. The dogtag chasers are the military wives that married just so they would never have to work a day in their life. I run into those on a daily basis and have no time for them. They have a dissolution of what the real world for average people are like and expect everything to be handed to them and people to feel sorry for the fact their husband is deployed like they had no choice. Now back to the bitches, these sleep with everyone they come into contact with and only care about you when it is convent for them and are done with you when you can't do nothing for them. I swear the things you went though in high school was petty drama compared to adult life. It was preparing you for what adult life is like because it only gets worse from there. Just now are older and even more illogical. It is like we left high school and real reason went out the door. Now our reason is "because I'm an adult and I say so".

So alone

I hate times like this, I feel so alone. :-(((( I wish I knew how to make friends.